A long lasting love is best achieved from the perspective of equality. Truly great men are strong enough to acknowledge the women that stand right next to them. When relationships operate from an unequal platform, the balance of power between a couple is upset and one gains more control over the other. This can cause huge problems.
Even couples that have traditional values and that believe in specific roles for men and for women should not view one person’s roles as being better or more important than the other. Equality is the key to long lasting happiness. If both people do their jobs, the relationship is balanced and has a far greater chance for success.
Some of the practical things that couples can do to achieve equality is to make a point of listening to one another’s ideas and having thorough discussions that enable them to make important decisions together as a team. They can also assume equal responsibilities for common areas of the relationship such as finances or childcare or care of the home.
It is much easier to treat one another equally when both parties agree to a few rules. For instance, there should be mutual respect of one another’s property and personal space. Each person should be allowed to express himself or herself freely without criticism or put-downs. The couple should agree to disagree at times, and ask things of one another rather than demand them. Most important, neither party should view himself or herself as the boss of the other. True adults behave as adults and do not try to control the other.
The language used in a relationship has great power. This is especially true of the couple that strives toward equality. Both parties should choose their words very carefully and not use disempowering or cutting language. Neither should order the other person around, and neither should ever disregard the ideas that have been put on the table by the other person. Exercising respect toward the other person at all times is the key to relationship success. The couple should always choose respect and responsibility over control. This is a win-win situation for all concerned.
If one person in a relationship begins to feel that things are imbalanced, this is the time to speak up. Relationship counseling can help if difficulties expressing these feelings are encountered. This should be thought of as a safe and neutral place that can help clarify roles and actions to the satisfaction of both parties. The counselor merely acts as a referee to help the couple iron out their differences and result in a more equally balanced relationship. Being flexible is also crucial in achieving balance within a partnership.
With both people on the same page about equality, they can realistically expect the relationship to be a long lasting one. Simply stated, equality is satisfying and it is fair. Anything else leaves one party or the other unhappy. Always choose happiness. Remain equal.